Disclaimer : This post was written almost 3 year back, obviously I was in a mode of anger and resentment and was hurt at the time. Things have completely changed over the last three years. 3 coaches for mindset and business development and many self improvement and Business Masterminds down I am sure of myself more than ever before. This incident gobbled up 3 years of non creative time, spent under depression. I wish today’s me would go back and shake me out of this trauma a bit sooner. I am leaving this post up for a lesson for other artists and in hope that someone might find it useful, but know that everything happens for a reason. I was pushed towards a route of self discovery following this and today I call myself successful and thank this event in my life and for the life lesson it brought me.
For years I believed that selling Art is an easy task , which ofcourse I was led to believe . Somehow , some where and by someone.
I have no idea.
BUT I believed that all you had to do is to come with a creative idea that is brand spanking new and create something around it . Enjoy creating it , create it from the heart, throw it out in the world , get praised and that’s what creativity is all about.
I nailed it, I was led to believe by the praises that I got for my work that I nailed it .It was easy for me to wake up to a new day create something new and just be content with it.
For years I believed that, I am a very creative person and that I can easily sell my creativity. Now a belief deep rooted like that has two sides of it , either, you become over confident. OR , you get so lost in creating new Art that you entirely forget about selling side of it.
But wait here is another downside of this
You confidently give your art in the hands of “trusted” source to be sold “For you ” and on your behalf.
But what they aren’t telling you about selling Art Online is that you must know your rights and besides just knowing your rights , you must also know HOW they can ” Trusted” sources can go about cheating you.
I got badly cheated and stabbed on the back by an Art Licensing agency. Who took my art and took advantage of a “Line in the contract” that “really meant” something which ripped me off “MY RIGHT” over “My Work”.
To this day since last 2 years I have NO IDEA how many copies and products of my art have been sold by this Agency and they continue to do so. My emails were answered back for a while for the initial time of my protesting but not for so long.
As a result the Artist within me had a jolt !
I mean the deep initial jolt that really shook my creative side and I was unable to draw or create for a period of 2 years. Damn two years, I found myself lamenting about not being able to create something or anything.
I felt suffocated ! the artist within me screaming …….the ideas and creativity both abandoned me….. I was left alone.
I found myself struggling to find help trying to find the root cause of “not being able to create anything”.
Struggling to create something , anything !!
All this while the creative side of me screaming at me from inside , trying to break free , come out and like Elizabeth Gilbert in Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear says
” creativity screams to come out through you and if you don’t listen to it…. it will go and look for some other souls to bring it into realization”. (Read in detail here )
Dozens of ideas , failed to see the daylight through me found new souls those who listened to them and brought them into realization.
Ironically it is really painful to feel an idea banging against you screaming to you for realization. And then comes a time that you can feel them fading away.
And then suddenly you come across that creative idea, making bad faces at you, cause they found another outlet . Another creative soul who respected them enough and shaped them out.
I am a bit of an empath, ideas when they come to me they just come in bunches and no being able to transform them into reality really feels painful. I fought for a long time with the inability to create anything, inability to “Birth” these ideas. Failing at it , painfully seeing them adopted elsewhere.
I paid a heavy price for not listening to my intuitive sensitive side , burdening it with the “betrayed acts of trusted body”. I wasted 2 creative years of my life . Hell dozens of ideas knocking at my creative door and then finding other homes……..
Fighting it I tried “OTHER” arenas to bring my ideas and creativity to reality only to find being “betrayed” once again. Well thats another story for another day………
Today I find myself waking up from this burden of betrayal by someone else. And I wanted to start my journey by letting go of the pain of betrayal, and come out of the black cloak over my creative side.
And I am compelled to share my journey and the struggles of the two years and the process that helped me overcome that in hope that someone else might find a way out of un-creativeness a bit sooner than me.
With less scars left over the creative soul……
In the coming posts I hope to share how you can too come out of it if…..